but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
