She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
