i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
where does the pee come out of this thing
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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