im gay
i know
yea but for you.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
