atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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