Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
