gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
