why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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