Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
So much Jack, so little girl.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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