She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
