This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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