so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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