ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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