He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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