..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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