Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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