please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
