Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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