I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
