no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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