i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
