Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
We talked him into tasing himself.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
