I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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