Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
