Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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