This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
