kristin has been a bad kristin
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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