Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
