i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
He better not be in your backpack
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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