what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
