I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
