I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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