I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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