She announced her abortion via fbk
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Someone shattered a urinal.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
