did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
