Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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