There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
