I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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