pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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