Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
