I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
