I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
