they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
50% drunk capacity currently
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
