i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
