this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
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