Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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