O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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