I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
