I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
