took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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