Too much gin, very little bucket
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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