Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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