but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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