we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
